The Complex Feeling of Foster-to-Adopt

In light of the fact that May is foster awareness month, I’m excited to make a big announcement!  

We are so excited to share that we have finally been licensed to foster-to-adopt! And with that being said, we recently became foster parents to a sweet little girl.  

Although it has been so exciting to grow our family in a unique way, we know foster care is actually a bitter sweet thing.  It’s no surprise that it’s a hard, evil, and fallen world.  Children, as well as, adults can have so many struggles and hardships to face. The reality is, it’s sad that foster care is even needed.  Sometimes good and innocent people/children get caught in the middle of something tragic or there is an unexpected death of a parent/guardian.  Families need help and healing and thus, there are approximately 400,000 children in foster care in the United States. 

We can so easily see that what Jesus said is true: “in this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33), but we don’t have to go through our troubles alone when we turn to God to help us through devastating seasons. He is able to work all things for good no matter how bleak our circumstances are (Romans 8:28).  

I myself am adopted and in my own story God has worked out so much for good in my life by simply giving me the gift of the loving family that I was adopted into.  Now, I am going though this journey as the parent.  It’s been an eye opening experience seeing the other side of it. 

• I’m seeing the side of the simple joys, laughter, and challenges of parenthood in general.
• I’m seeing another side where it feels risky to our hearts because we are not guaranteed a specific amount of time with this sweet child.  However, we foster without holding anything back, because we know this is the direction God is leading us to invest our time, energy, resources, and a lot of love. 
• I am seeing the confusing and complicated side where we are willing to adopt the child we are growing to love, while also at the same time, we pray for healing within the biological family, in hopes for the child to return.  And even more importantly, for all parties involved to turn to God for desperate help for transformation and redemption. 

Foster care is a unique and complicated situation in which the ultimate goal is for reunification back to the child’s biological family.  With that being said, our home is meant to be a temporary dwelling. However if reunification is not best for the child we may have the opportunity to adopt the child(ren) who come to live in our home.  

Some of the unique challenges with fostering has been a much needed reminder of God’s love for me.   It amazes me that God who is holy and perfect chooses me, loves me, adopts me, and calls me His child regardless of my problems and imperfections.  He has cleaned up so many of my messes, even the ones where I was at fault.  His grace, love, and mercy compels me to want to live in a way that honors Him and to strive to love this child the way He has loved me.  It is God’s love that has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us, which is helping us to extend our love beyond what I knew was a possible. 

As we have been going though this process — taking classes, preparing our house, getting licensed, and having our first placement — its been a unique undertaking, but it has also felt more exciting and more of a blessing than we expected or could ever imagine. 

What we are doing is nothing grandeur.  We are simply excited and blessed to have the opportunity to put into practice more of the scriptures we read in God’s Word. For us, that’s specially caring for children in need (Isaiah 1:17). 

If you’re interested to understand more about foster care I would recommend reading the book Fostered, which is written by a woman named Tori Hope Peterson, who shares about her life and faith living through the foster care system. We also have enjoyed the movie Instant Family, which gives the parents perspective.  There are several parts of this movie where we have felt like we can relate.