Feeling the Financial Risk of Being a Housewife

(Inspired by a journal entry I wrote on June 28, 2020, which was about prioritizing; January 2, 2022, which was about dwelling in the land; August 11, 2021, about being a housewife)

For me personally, I have always found it to be a struggle to balance full-time work, house work, side-gigs, quality time with friends and family, quality time with God, good sleep, etc. I have found it difficult to not just do all of these things, but to do them well.  

But I think to do things well, sometimes other things in life have to give.  I’ve had to ask myself, what in my life will I give up, so I can do all things that I’m called to, and do it efficiently? 

By God’s guidance I have been led to become a housewife, rather than to work for money in a secular job. 

In becoming a housewife, it was important for me to lay out my priorities, so that I could have good quality time to do what I’m called to, and do it well.  

In this chapter of my life, these have been my most important priorities: 

Stewarding my home life

1. God – My quality time with Him and keeping in step with His Spirit (Gal. 5:25).
2. My husband – My quality time with him, helping him how I can, and caring for him. 
3. Children 4. The home – Stewarding the home also overlaps into caring for my husband and opening up our home to other friends and family. I will explain this more in-depth below. 

(Disclaimer: Other than God being at the top of the list for everyone, this list will be unique to everyone.  It will be unique to your season of life – single, married, adult, teenager, child, having kids/no kids, and maybe even where you live in the world, etc.)

This list is not a reflection of my priorities moment-by-moment.  There is always a give and take within each minute of the day.  

My priorities have drastically changed from my life before Christ and they have also changed from season to season.  When our latest major-moving-chapter came to an end, I had to learn to adjust my life in such a way, to do what was important to God. 

Am I always perfect at keeping my priorities straight? Probably not, but I am constantly referring back to this list as a loose guideline before I plan out each week.  And also at the same time, being open to the voice of God to give space for Him to change my plans. 

Laying out this list of priorities has helped me to see where I have room in my schedule to fit in other activities so I do not neglect the most important things. This has helped us to obtain a healthy and well-balanced life for our family. 

For some of you reading this, you may be thinking, kids? What kids?

I’m writing this in a unique season of my life, where my husband and I are in the process of getting ready to foster and adopt. And although we don’t have any children yet, we’ve been very busy preparing our home for our future children. Getting our home ready for them is in a sense caring for those future children God has for us. 

At the time of purchase, our home had an unfinished master bedroom and bathroom, and a slew of other problems that need to be addressed before the state will allow us to bring kids into our home.  We have been trying our best to focus on being obedient to God, which includes going through the adoption process and finishing our home, in order to be able to foster/adopt. It is requiring us to be faithful to finishing certain projects, which then allows us to be faithful to God’s call to foster and adopt.

In this list, I have listed a few of them on the same line, because I they are so tightly intertwined with one another.

As I have laid out my priorities, I find it surprising to see that stewarding my home has made it into the top three lines of my list. 

It’s way more important than I ever expected it to be, which means stewarding it well is important and valuable.  

It has made me understand that this stewardship matters very much to God even if it seems small and no one sees it day-to-day.  

All the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, meal planning, organizing, laundry, errands, etc; it requires much attention and stewardship and pays absolutely no dollar value, yet to have all these things done well is completely priceless; because let’s face it, we do need to do all these things to live. I believe God sees my role as a housewife as my job, so it‘s important for me to be sure I’m not doing my work half way. 

In my job as a housewife, I’ve learned that accomplishing these things create a sense of order in the home, which helps create a peaceful home-life in a practical way.  And even more importantly, it helps keep our whole lives in order and from feeling chaotic.  When everything is being maintained in the home, there is time in the schedule for other things.

I think having this order in our home is so important to God because in Genesis, we see God creating order as He creates the universe and everything in it. He did not leave one thing without form and void.  And then he gives Adam and Eve the commission to manage and maintain these things (Gen 2:15). The things that God gives us to manage, I think should be treated the same, but its easy to get distracted from fully caring for what seems like the smaller blessing that are easily forgotten.  I’m not saying the material possession of our home is important. I’m saying caring for something that God has provided for you has its place.

I image the garden must have been quite heavenly and peaceful. I see our home as a place that should echo something similar because it is a foundation where a lot happens. It’s a place for prayer and worship; a place we come home to after having a good day or stressful day to find practical peace; a place we invite people into to have community, build relationships, and ministering opportunities; a place Lord willing, where children are raised and trained-up for life and to know The Lord.  It’s a personal place where we have the opportunity to make someone feel welcomed, seen, and heard. Our home is the physical foundation that He has provided for us to house all of these things that are so valuable to God.

And furthermore, it’s a place for children who may have had some traumatic experiences in their life, to be safe and feel secure; for them to learn to do chores and learn valuable life lessons and healthy habits, on how to keep a healthy home-life for themselves one day.  It will be the place they see Jared and I, by the grace of God, maintain a healthy relationship, where love is patient and kind with one another. A love that is not self-seeking or easily angered. A love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always persevere with one another (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7); and perseveres in the faith.  It will be a place where our kids will see us quickly apologize and forgive when we aren’t perfect at loving one another. This is the healthy home life I hope and pray to mimic for my children. 

I know with children, my job will become more challenging, but also even more important and rewarding.  If God has called me into any particular thing, than I want to be doing my work well as unto the Lord to glorify Him. 

In this season of being a housewife, I have enjoyed the different ways that God has used this time to grow me in several different areas.  Ways, that I know I would have never had the time to learn, if my time was spent severing a boss at another job. 

One particular way, is serving and cooking for those in my home.  I’ve never been big into cooking, so its not something I ever invested my time in, to learn. Nor did I need to. I had loving parents and siblings who were always helping me and feeding me as I got ready to rush off to gymnastics or school. I am the youngest of the family, so I was the one being taken care of. 

As I got older, I only made the easiest possible meals for myself, because learning beyond the basics of cooking, wasn’t something that was important to me.

But as God continues to transform me I’ve pondered a lot on  how Jesus came to serve us and not to be served, so cooking and serving has become more important to me regardless of, if it’s something I enjoy doing. Although it’s not natural to me, I have learned to like it and appreciate it because I’ve realized that feeding people is a small way that I can be a help to them. Especially in this season of working on our home to serve my husband and a few other people who have come into our lives. 

I’m happy I’ve been faithful learning these things, because now we are coming into a season of having kids. This skill will be more important and valuable than ever.  

What’s funny is, that living in a tiny house on wheels, I really wasn’t sure if we would ever have kids. But then God surprises us and guides us to find a more stable home and leads us into adoption, I see more on why He has led me to be a housewife. He has been equipping me for the next season,  where we would have a home to welcome more people into it.

And even though I see how God’s plans are slowly coming together, there have been…

Times of Doubt and Questioning 

As time goes on, I begin to question God again with thoughts like, ”should I continue to keep doing what I’m doing? Maybe now is the time to get a secular job because it’s an ‘employees market’. With not having a job for years, now would be a good time to land a secular job. It would be my best shot.“ 

The thought of getting a secular job came to me because with a new home, comes a new mortgage.  All of the extra money we are spending was tempting me to worry about our finances.  I realized that it took faith for us to sell our home and our possessions; and move away from friends and family; and now its taking faith for us to purchase a home and to regain a lot of the things we gave up.  It’s taking more faith and trust that God would provide the extra money we need month-after-month for this house.  Due to such a unique time of people losing their jobs because of the covid crisis, not working for money was feeling challenging to me again.  

Jared already lost his job once when we were living in the tiny house, and I couldn’t help but wonder — “Will he lose his job  because his company will want to down downsize again? Wouldn’t it be wise of me to be a back up in case he loses his job again?”  With the world being in chaos, it has felt like a financial risk, not having a second income. It has also felt like a financial risk buying a home in the midst of a mysterious time in history. But I know that this is the house God has led us to, and I know that this is the job that God has gifted me with.

God again gave me confidence to dwell in our home as a housewife by being helper to my husband, the way God is specifically guiding me to be a helper. 

Titus 2:3-5 says,  teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. [4] These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, [5] to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

I’ve read this scripture many times before, but in this new season at our new house, I found deeper encouragement in it, by reading it slowly and breaking it down. 

I’ve been encouraged to think about how God, by His spirit has helped me to learn to no longer gossip and turn away from heavy drinking.  As I’ve rid my life of these obvious sinful behaviors,  I’ve grown closer in relationship to Him, and learned more about what is good and pleasing to Him (Titus 2:3).  As I have learned what is good to God, I will have to “teach what is good” to my children (Titus 2:5; Ephesians 5:10). 

Also, in all our experience of moving by faith and seeing Him guide and provide, we’ve gained more trust, discernment, and wisdom (Titus 2:5).  

Although, we have so much more to grow, He has has taught us and helped us by His Spirit to become more sanctified and holy, as He is holy (Titus 2:5).

God has helped me to learn what it means to biblically and lovingly submit to my husband (Titus 2:5). 

And lastly, I’ve learned so much in the experience of My Father directing me to be a homemaker.  As a homemaker, I’ve learned a lot in the job itself in a physical and spiritual way.  And now Lord willing,  with having kids it will be time to teach them many things through my own walk with God.  And part of teaching our children will be to model it myself for them. I realize that in order to be a good model for them, I’ve had to learn a lot myself in this opportunity God has given me to be a housewife and all the different hats that come with. If I have the opportunity to be so very present in their life, than I feel that I should choose to do so. For myself, I realize I need to keep choosing to do, what I believe is God’s best for me in my life. I shouldn’t keep questioning where God has me unless He guides me out of this. 

If he directs me to a secular job, it won’t be because of my worry of our finances or irresponsibly living outside of our means. We are to wisely manage what we have, while also living where God has called us to by faith, doing exactly what we are doing. Yes, our finances are something to consider, but I will not let them dictate my life, and get in the way of choosing to do God’s best. Maybe the job situation for me will change or maybe not; God knows. What I do know is, I have to keep trusting that He will guide us by His spirit. As we seek His kingdom first and His righteousness, He’ll always add what we need (Matthew 6:33). 

In this journey, we have learned so much from the life of Abraham. He moved by faith and he also dwelt in the land God gave him by faith. 

Just like Abraham, by faith we moved, and now by faith I dwell in this house with a mortgage as a housewife, who doesn’t make an income (Hebrews 11:8-9). By faith Jared dwells at the exact job God led him to, even though there have been other job offers (Psalms 37:3). 

When we share our moving story with people, sometimes they think we’re a little crazy, but it’s always refreshing to meet those who see the faith and are encouraged by the adventurous journey God has us on. But I do have to say, that in doing the day-to-day things it doesn’t always feel adventurous, or like God is doing any big work on me in it. Sometimes it can feel quite…

Mundane, Boring, and Small

However, I know that’s not true at all because that’s not how God sees it. 

Faith can be grown in the big and small steps of faith; and even in the ”dwelling by faith”, where it doesn’t seem like much is happening. But I truly think that big things are happening in our hearts as we learn to dwell here, and we continue to learn to trust in The Lord in something new.  Lots of new, actually.

Even though I generally don’t find being a housewife as a boring occupation, there are times when certain tasks might feel boring or mundane. But I always remember that in almost all secular jobs there are parts of the job we don’t like.  

And if/when I ever feel undisciplined, unmotivated, and tempted to be lazy, I remind myself of the days in my corporate job. How I would push through on those lazy days and do my job regardless of how I feel, because I didn’t want to disappoint my boss.  Today, I see managing our home as my job, and if I pushed through on hard days in an office, how much more should I be pushing through for all that God has given me to manage (Proverbs 31:27). God sees my whole life and what I do with my time. With the proper fear of the Lord, I am compelled to make the most of my time (Proverbs 31:30).

I feel that I make the most of my day when I think of these things as my work.  I attempt to do all that I need to do from sweeping the floors, minor construction projects, cooking, and YouTube/writing/website work within the time constraints of 9-5.  Although this is usually my plan, it doesn’t always work out the way I expect, and that’s ok.  Sometimes work gets done at different hours.  I attempt to do all the these things with taking into account my priorities. 

Also, just like any other job, there are great benefits. One being the freedom and flexibility I have, which is great no matter what season of life you are in. I have the freedom to take the extra time in the morning to read and pray without feeling the rush to jump in the car and go off to a secular job.  I have a free mind that is not occupied by many things that a secular job would require of me; and as I do the house chores I am able to pray and listen to Godly messages and worship songs. So when doing what seems like mindless and un-valuable tasks, it actually become valuable prayer time. I believe this is one of the greatest benefits to being a housewife. 

Recently, I have been pondering on the life of Jesus and how He is the most spiritual man who ever lived. Fully God, but also fully human, he lived a practical life here on earth.  He walked by the spirt of God everyday, even in doing the small and mundane tasks of cleaning up after himself or doing his job as a carpenter.  We don’t know much about His life before He started His ministry, but I believe that everything Jesus did was seen by God and had deep value and purpose. And whatever he did during this mysterious time — his practical chores, his stillness before the Lord, praying, studying, eating, drinking, observing the birds, the flowers and the ants — was important to grow His character and for equipping Him for His ministry.   

I know prayer time and time in the Word is very important and refreshing to my soul, but I do find it surprising to find so much contentment and purpose, in doing the mundane things, as well.  I believe God has given me so much peace and contentment in doing these things because He sees it as valuable and has blessed my obedience to where He has called me to work. I don’t think I would have this peace and contentment by having a money-paying-job.  When I have seriously thought about gaining back a secular job, I almost immediately have a type of unrest in my heart.  The thought of making money to calm my fleshly fear might satisfy the surface level of things, but I know there would be a deep unrest in my heart, if I actually followed through with getting a secular job. I always need the peace that transcends all understanding, more than I need money in my bank account. His peace is more valuable than anything else. His peace is my payment to being a housewife. His Peace is what encourages me to continue in this role confidently. And as I keep relying on Him for his divine peace, I’m able to do my work as a house wife, so that I can steward well what He has given us. Being faithful to this stewardship has helped create much practical peace in our home.  I have learned that by committing to this role, I’m not just reading about in the bible, but it’s scriptures that I’m actually putting into practice in my life, and it has blessed me spiritually and in a practical way (Titus 2:5; Proverbs 14:1; Proverbs 9:1). And by being obedient to this call it has naturally created much practical peace in our home, even in the midst of a major construction project.  

Of course when we have children I know that this practical peace might feel challenged.  There will be a lot to learn on how to care for each child’s unique needs and new routines will need to be put in place, but by the grace of God our family will find its flow. I know it won’t be easy and maybe sometimes it will be chaotic, but I have a lot of faith that God will provide His peace that transcends all understanding when circumstances seem out of our control.  We will ultimately still find our peace and security in Him as he helps us navigate this new chapter.

I’m thankful for the adoption classes and some distant and local mom-mentors who have given us much hope that a peaceful home is still achievable. It will take time and on-site training for both us as parents and the kids, but I know it’s possible with God, as we keep putting the Word of God into practical-action in our lives.  I’ve witnessed it in those I consider my distant and local mentors.  His Word is a guide for all seasons of life, and I’m excited and a little nervous to experience that in a new way…